Well today was my last day of work before my surgery. I have a ton of things to do to get ready for the big day and of course it is all CLEANING! I hate cleaning but I do not want to come home to a dirty house. I did pretty well at school today until the end of the day. I was locked out of a classroom so that the kids could make me cards. Of course I didn't know what was going on so I started freaking! I didn't want my last day to be this big send off! I just quietly wanted to leave and then come back the last day or two for a visit. So because I did not know what they were doing my mind went zooming a million miles a minute and I started to cry. Pathetic! I know! But I didn't want to have to explain to the kids in my classrooms that I was going to have brain surgery. It sounds worse than it is. Right now I am healthy! I have some issues but nothing compared to some people I know. This is a preventative surgery. The tumor needs to be removed so that it does not cause any problems in the future. It has grown....so therefore needs to be removed. That is it....end of story! However, to be honest I am truly nervous and scared! A large part of me knows that I shouldn't be and that everything is going to be fine. But, another part of me is like "Dude! This is your Brain we are talking about! You know that thing that controls EVERYTHING else in your body! One slip up and your toast!" I'm also nervous about being under anesthesia. I don't want to say anything really stupid or mean. I am a very stubborn person and I can see that stubbornness coming out of me while under the influence of pain medications and anesthesia. I've already told the doctors that they are going to have to strap my arms down so that I don't rip out the gauze's and tubes that may be on me. I do not like anything on my face or head while trying to rest. So of course I'm having brain surgery where they are surgically working DIRECTLY on my face and head. Isn't is funny how life hands you some major oxymoron's?!?
I also had to say goodbye to the boy I'm trying to adopt. I know it's only for a little while and not forever but I don't want him to think that I left. The only time that I get to see him is at school and I try to go and visit him everyday if I can. He has had too many people who have disappeared in his life. I would hate to be another person added to that list of his! I did tell him and let him know that I wasn't going to see him next week, that I was going to be out. He restated what I said and then I left it at that. I didn't want to go into details and he really doesn't need to know at this point. I am hoping to be able to FaceTime him and his class as I recuperate at home. That will be fun! I may not be able to go to school but they can still see that I am okay and thinking of him!
It was quite funny today when some people found out that I was leaving to have surgery. The first questions that I got were "What are you having surgery for?" I hated having to say...."to remove a pituitary adenoma"......but I also didn't want to have to say...."to remove a brain tumor". Either one does not sound good! I think a lot of people were confused about me having surgery because there appears to be nothing physically wrong with me. It's funny how something that you can't see, effects so many things! The brain works in mysterious ways. People were also asking what they could do for me. I don't like that question! I know people care and are just concerned for me but I don't know how to answer that question. Let me think!?!? My bills needs to be paid...dogs need to be taken care of....laundry needs to be washed...OH! My house needs to be cleaned!! HA! Seriously though, I'm good! All that I ask is that you keep me in your thoughts and prayers so that everything turns out alright!
Oh baklava!.....homemade baklava would be good! Haven't had that in a long time!! **cheesy grin**
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