Surgery is over!

Well surgery is over....and lets just say this post op surgery is a bitch! I have never felt like such crap before in my life. They said I would feel like I have a sinus infection but having two stints up my nose is not my equivalent to a sinus infection. I have to wear gauze's over my nostrils so that I do not bleed out. Oh and let's not forget the drainage going down my throat! Let's just say the drainage has made me more nauseous then the medication I've been taking. I have never felt like such a train wreck in my life. I know things will get better but my patients is wearing thin. When I can't even get up to go to the bathroom without hyperventilating or going up the stairs without getting winded *insert visual of old lady crawling up stairs*. Right now I am going on about 3 days of no sleep. If I didn't have a head ache due to the surgery, I've got to be getting headaches do to lack of sleep. I feel like am confined to my first floor, which basically I am because going up and downstairs makes my heart beat out of my chest! I hate it when I think of things that I need and then realize "crap" it's up stairs, or I need to restock the toilet paper and it's down in the basement. These are the times I say to myself "Don't EVER take it for granted when you are healthy!" and REMEMBER TO PAY IT FORWARD!! Wether it's a nice gesture or an act of kindness, the people who have been helping me out do not understand how much it's been helping. Bringing me a meal, calling/texting to check up on me, or moving my room around so that I can somehow get some kind of sleep (love my friends!).

I have learned a few things through this experience and I have to put a blog site up for you to read if you wish. This blogger was very helpful in making light of surgery before taking that big plunge with her situation being more severe than mine. The website is:  www.everywhereist.com/70-things-i-learned-from-having-a-brain-tumor/

She gave me many ideas to how to handle what I am and was going through with humor. She was the inspiration in deciding to name my tumor. Of course my friends chimed in on what I should name it-- "Elivs". I don't think I will look at Elvis Presley the same way ever again! I appreciate that I could have a sense of humor with the medical staff around me. I have to joke about things! Life is too serious not to joke about what is going on. I'm glad my ICU nurse had a sense of humor too since whatever must have been left in my stomach projectile all over myself. I tried to give her a heads up before I got sick but she wasn't fast enough....poor thing! I am amazed at people who are able to do what hospital/medical people can do. I was totally grossed out and she was like "eh?!?". My hospital stay was very short. I was only in there for two days and that's including the actual surgery itself. When they want you to get out of the hospital they want you out. They asked me if I wanted to stay but I felt like that was a loaded question....."Let me think?....Stay where I am waited on hand and foot 24/7 and taken care of if for any reason there is any discomfort or pain by people who have gone to school and trained to take care of people such as myself?, OR go home where you will be laying on the couch knowing your Dad is doing his absolute very best taking care of you but he is no medical care person, well at least he never showed me a degree! Also asking a person who has been heavily sedated is (in my opinion) not a very good thing to do. Of course I agreed to discharge as soon as possible so that I could get home.

The minute they put me in the hospital wheelchair I knew the hard part was just about to begin. It amazes me the very little tiny things we take for granted on a daily basis, such as taking a shower. My first shower home was NOT fun! All I can say is that water got on me and I was pretty much done after that. I couldn't breathe worth crap and I thought my head was actually going to pop off! I literally crawled to get my clothes on and my hair....well I'm just surprised I didn't shave it off. It would have been easier than trying to brush it after that shower. It's been almost a week since my surgery and I took my second shower since I have been home. HOLY CRAP! Time does heal! I was actually able to enjoy my shower and get myself clean. The brushing of my hair went really smoothly. Still need it cut but my head did not pop off and it doesn't hurt like it did before. I'm still a bit dizzy and stuff but that's to be expected!

What I am really looking forward to is getting the stints in my nose removed on Wednesday! Can not wait until those are out! Those are the things that are giving me the biggest problem right now. Still difficult to sleep and lay my head down. I feel like I could probably sleep a year when those come out! I can hear every little pounding in my brain and swish of whatever liquids are in your skull to keep it intact. That noise is not pleasant and very annoying! Of course it worsens when you lay your head down. Sleeping sitting straight up is not very easy. I've been making it work (sort of) but I usually wake up quickly when my body wants to lay down on its side. With that I have been watching a lot of TV. If you work during the day you are not missing anything. There is nothing on!! I think the television companies just replay the same day over and over again!

I am feeling truly blessed and lucky to have the people that I do in my life. People have been very helpful and caring with everything that has been going on! I can't believe how many wonderful people that I have in my life that care so much! It's scary going into a surgical situation and not knowing what or who will be there for you when you get out! No matter what anyone says....Friends ARE family. You cannot convince me other wise. It takes a village to raise a child but it also takes humanity to help someone in need!

Now that I am able to think more clearly......I am going to try to work on my "Thank You" cards! I do not want to forget anyone who has offered any little help at all possible. Even the smallest of things can make a HUGE difference!!

I can't believe surgery's tomorrow!

     Tomorrow is the big day! Elvis is leaving the building!! Yes, that is what I have decided to name my tumor (with the help of a really good friend;). I read a blog today about "70 things I learned from my brain tumor" and one thing the author stated was to name your tumor. I thought "HEY!" what a good idea! So Elvis it is and it will be Always on my mind!
     At this point in time I am feeling rather relaxed. I know that will change consistently as the night goes on but right now I'm good. I have a headache and really want to take some Excedrine or Motrin to help my headache but I can't.  Not happy with that! At midnight tonight is when I have to stop eating and drinking. A part of me doesn't think that will be bad. However, I am an ornery person and when you tell me that I can't do something that is when I TOTALLY want to do it! So here is hoping that my ornery side does not come out!! I had to put my dogs in a kennel today. That was extremely hard too! I left blubbering like a baby! I know they will be fine but I felt like I was saying good bye and I hate goodbye's. I had to kennel them because I don't want people to have to worry about them. I also don't think I'll be able to take care of them when I get home. The thought of having a huge headache and then bending over to pick up poop is not my ideal situation post-surgery! Plus knowing my dogs, they will be jumping all over my head when I am trying to rest. That can't happen!! I still feel like I have a ton of things left that I need to do but have decided that if it doesn't get done than it wasn't meant to get done! I'm not stressing over cleaning!
     I know a lot of people have asked what they could do for me and I feel lucky and blessed that so many care! However, I have to restate again-- Please keep me in your prayers and pray for a speedy recovery! Here's to It's Now or Never!

4 days until surgery!

     

     Well today was my last day of work before my surgery. I have a ton of things to do to get ready for the big day and of course it is all CLEANING! I hate cleaning but I do not want to come home to a dirty house. I did pretty well at school today until the end of the day. I was locked out of a classroom so that the kids could make me cards. Of course I didn't know what was going on so I started freaking! I didn't want my last day to be this big send off! I just quietly wanted to leave and then come back the last day or two for a visit. So because I did not know what they were doing my mind went zooming a million miles a minute and I started to cry. Pathetic! I know! But I didn't want to have to explain to the kids in my classrooms that I was going to have brain surgery. It sounds worse than it is. Right now I am healthy! I have some issues but nothing compared to some people I know. This is a preventative surgery. The tumor needs to be removed so that it does not cause any problems in the future. It has grown....so therefore needs to be removed. That is it....end of story! However, to be honest I am truly nervous and scared! A large part of me knows that I shouldn't be and that everything is going to be fine. But, another part of me is like "Dude! This is your Brain we are talking about! You know that thing that controls EVERYTHING else in your body! One slip up and your toast!" I'm also nervous about being under anesthesia. I don't want to say anything really stupid or mean. I am a very stubborn person and I can see that stubbornness coming out of me while under the influence of pain medications and anesthesia. I've already told the doctors that they are going to have to strap my arms down so that I don't rip out the gauze's and tubes that may be on me. I do not like anything on my face or head while trying to rest. So of course I'm having brain surgery where they are surgically working DIRECTLY on my face and head. Isn't is funny how life hands you some major oxymoron's?!?
     I also had to say goodbye to the boy I'm trying to adopt. I know it's only for a little while and not forever but I don't want him to think that I left. The only time that I get to see him is at school and I try to go and visit him everyday if I can. He has had too many people who have disappeared in his life. I would hate to be another person added to that list of his! I did tell him and let him know that I wasn't going to see him next week, that I was going to be out. He restated what I said and then I left it at that. I didn't want to go into details and he really doesn't need to know at this point. I am hoping to be able to FaceTime him and his class as I recuperate at home. That will be fun! I may not be able to go to school but they can still see that I am okay and thinking of him!
     It was quite funny today when some people found out that I was leaving to have surgery. The first questions that I got were "What are you having surgery for?"  I hated having to say...."to remove a pituitary adenoma"......but I also didn't want to have to say...."to remove a brain tumor". Either one does not sound good! I think a lot of people were confused about me having surgery because there appears to be nothing physically wrong with me. It's funny how something that you can't see, effects so many things! The brain works in mysterious ways. People were also asking what they could do for me. I don't like that question! I know people care and are just concerned for me but I don't know how to answer that question. Let me think!?!? My bills needs to be paid...dogs need to be taken care of....laundry needs to be washed...OH! My house needs to be cleaned!! HA! Seriously though, I'm good! All that I ask is that you keep me in your thoughts and prayers so that everything turns out alright!

Oh baklava!.....homemade baklava would be good! Haven't had that in a long time!! **cheesy grin**

2 Weeks

Well I have about 2 weeks before my surgery and I think I have things pretty much ready for my time off for recovery. I'm getting a bit nervous but keep reminding myself that everything is going to be okay. I finished my last Home Study visit and all I need to do is wait for paperwork to be done. The Home Study guy said that he is going to try and finish the paperwork and turn it in by May 16th. Then after that its just waiting for the paperwork to be signed before I get licensed as a foster parent or get some type of consistent visitation. I have a meeting with the Social worker and foster mom this Friday. This should be interesting! Not sure exactly what to expect but trying to keep an open mind about it all. I guess I'm just waiting for something to blow up in my face. I don't want to think negatively but waiting this long and now having surgery, I can't help but think "What obstacles are going to be thrown at me next?". I wish there was a way to predict the future so that the stress of the unknown could be taken away!