The obstacles keep on coming!

It's funny how life keeps throwing obstacles at you! The obstacles keep on coming but faith is helping me through them (that and my awesome friends!). It's been over a year since I last put up a post on this blog, but to be fair nothing much has happened in my life. Well life has decided to change that.... Right now I am currently in the process of adopting a little boy. I will get more into detail on that story in the future but as of right now my pituitary tumor has decided to re-emerge into my life and try to put a damper on things. The clincher is that while I have been going through the adoption process for 8 months now, my tumor has decided to grow and cause yet another road block into my future. What does that mean? More than likely surgery. So now I have this young boy to think about and god has given me this obstacle of going to have surgery. Not just any old surgery but BRAIN surgery. Not that anybody wants to have surgery at all or even have some kind of tumor, but why couldn't I have had a tumor somewhere further away from my brain? At times I do feel defeated and think...Everything that I try to do, something has to happen and I have to put my hopes and dreams aside. Honestly, I want to throw a temper tantrum like a child but what good would that do? It doesn't change anything! My biggest fear through all of this is the possibility of not being able to adopt. I never thought that I would get the chance to be a mom and now I have the opportunity. I'm not in the adoption process to find a child to adopt. I've already found him! It's just getting everything legalized through paperwork. I have to go through all the red tape and jump through hoops to be able to get the opportunity to visit with him. I understand the process, especially since he is a foster child, but it has been an agonizing wait! Now this!! I keep telling myself this is probably the best time for this to occur. I can get this surgery done and over with before he is able to come and live with me. Home inspection (CHECK), Emergency contacts (CHECK), Home study interviews (CHECK), Brain tumor removed (CHECK). I totally believe that god has a purpose and plan for my life. I just wish he would let me in on the secret as to what that plan would be. So as of right now I have to wait for all of my doctors appointments to see what and when things are going to happen. If you know me, you know that I am not a patient person. I hate sitting and waiting for things to happen! Life happens and it happens quickly. When you wait there are many things that you may be missing! Luckily I have many people in my life who remind me of the importance of waiting and being patient. I know they are right, but it doesn't help when it comes to my mind and my heart! So as my journey continues, I hope that god grants me the patience that I need and the heart to continue to believe that.....everything happens for a reason!